What the replies actually look like
Five review types, written out in full rather than described. Judge the service on these, because this is the whole product.
The reviews below are constructed examples, not real customers, and the businesses in them do not exist. Only the replies are the thing being demonstrated.
The fair complaint
2 starsThe review
“Booked for 8am, nobody showed until after 11 and no one called to say. Work itself was fine but I took a day off for this.”
The draft
“You booked 8am and we got there after 11 without ringing you. That is on us. The job before yours ran badly over, which happens, but not calling you does not. I have changed how the run sheet works so the office rings the next customer the moment a job overruns. Glad the work itself was right, though I know that is not much comfort when you have burned a day off. Give the office a ring and ask for Dave and I will sort the call-out fee.”
Why it is written that way: Names the specific failure, does not hide behind "unforeseen circumstances", says what changed, and makes the remedy easy to claim. The next reader sees a business that fixes things.
The unfair one
1 starThe review
“Absolute ripoff. Charged me a fortune for 20 minutes work. Avoid.”
The draft
“Happy to explain the invoice. The call-out covers travel, the truck and the parts we carry so the job gets done on the first visit rather than the third. The 20 minutes at your place was possible because we already had the part on board. If you would like the invoice broken down line by line, ring the office and we will walk through it. If something has been charged twice, we will refund it.”
Why it is written that way: No grovelling and no argument. It explains the pricing model to the audience, which is who this is really for, and stays open to being wrong about the specifics.
The one that is not you
1 starThe review
“Terrible service, waited 45 minutes for a coffee.”
The draft
“I think this one might be meant for another business — we are a plumbing company and we do not have a cafe. If you have had a bad experience with us under a different name, please ring the office so we can look into it properly.”
Why it is written that way: Polite, factual, and creates a public record for the removal request we lodge alongside it. Never sarcastic, because sarcasm is what gets screenshotted.
The lukewarm three
3 starsThe review
“Job got done. Bit messy afterwards but okay.”
The draft
“Thanks for the honesty. Leaving a mess is not the standard and I would rather know. We carry drop sheets and a vacuum on every van and clearly they did not come out on your job. I have raised it with the crew. If you would like someone to come back and tidy up, ring the office and there is no charge.”
Why it is written that way: Most businesses ignore threes. They are the easiest star to move, the complaint is usually small and fixable, and the reply signals to everyone else that you sweat details.
The glowing one
5 starsThe review
“Fantastic work, highly recommend!”
The draft
“Thanks Marie. That was the hot water swap in Yarraville on the Tuesday — tight cupboard, older copper, your dog supervising the whole job. Appreciate you taking the time to write something.”
Why it is written that way: Specific enough to prove a human read it. Five-star replies get skipped constantly, and they are the cheapest credibility on the page. No hard sell, no "we look forward to serving you again".
The rules behind all five
- Name the specific thing. Generic replies tell the reader nobody actually looked.
- Say what changed. An apology with no consequence is just noise.
- Never argue about the facts in public. Move the detail to a phone call. You will not win a comment thread and the audience is not scoring it the way you think.
- Write for the next reader. The complainant has usually made their mind up. The twenty people deciding whether to ring you have not.
- Sound like a person. A name, a detail, plain words. Corporate voice reads as evasion.
Your voice, not ours
The examples above are written in one particular tone. Yours might be more formal, or warmer, or shorter. We set that up on the first call, along with the list of things you never want said, and the drafts come back sounding like you.
Set up your voice